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364 Best Corny Jokes – The only list you’ll ever need.

364 Best Corny Jokes – The only list you’ll ever need.
Friends laughing at corny jokes - Main
Unsplash / Genessa Panainte

When it comes to jokes, corny jokes are the best.

They can make your audience’s eye roll in frustration or make them exhale sharply out of their nose, but deep down they know that corny jokes are the best.

From corny dog jokes to corny dad jokes that are so bad they are good, there are so many great jokes to choose from.

But when you are trying to find the best corny jokes, where do you look? Don’t worry, we have you covered with our list of the best corny jokes ever!

Contents

13 Best corny Jokes

Girl wearing sunglasses, laughing hard - corny jokes
Pexels / juan mendez

When you want to make someone really laugh, you need the best corny jokes. That’s why we have put together this amazing list of the best corny jokes to help you become the life of the party.

1. I’m so good at sleeping.

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Answer

I can do it with my eyes closed.
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2. Which two letters in the alphabet are always jealous?

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Answer

NV.
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3. What do the movies Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common?

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Answer

Icy dead people.
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4. Could you please call me a taxi?

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Answer

Alright, you’re a taxi!

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5. I invented a new word.

And we’re off with a winner. This joke is sure to make everyone roll their eyes and laugh all at the same time.

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Answer

Plagiarism.
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Laughing girls at the car's rear compartment.
Unsplash /Richard Jaimes

6. What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?

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Answer

Cashew!
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7. What goes up and down but does not move?

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Answer

Stairs.
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8. Why was the broom late?

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Answer

It over swept!
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9. I wonder why the frisbee was getting bigger.

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Answer

Then it hit me.
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10. Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance.

Only to be used with people who have an incredibly dark sense of humor, this joke is so dark it’s kinda funny.

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Answer

So I pushed her over.
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A classic old bank building. - corny jokes
Unsplash / Etienne Martin

11. Why do chickens sit on eggs?

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Answer

Because they don’t have chairs.
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12. What is the difference between a bird and a fly?

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Answer

None.
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13. What kind of bagel can fly?

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Answer

A plain bagel!
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16 corny dad jokes

Dad jokes may not be to everyone’s taste but we can bet that you will found someone who thinks these Dad jokes are as funny as we do.

14. Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Dad’s normally tell bedtime stories but a joke about the best bedtime story hero? Count me in!
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Answer

He never lands.
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Dad reading a storybook to his baby.
Unsplash / Picsea

15. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

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Answer

They lactose.
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16. What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor?

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Answer

“Make me one with everything.”
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17. Why did Adele cross the road?

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Answer

To say hello from the other side!
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18. What’s blue and smells like red paint?

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Answer

Blue paint.
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19. I asked my Mom if I was ugly.

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Answer

She said, “I told you not to call me Mom in front of people.”
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A girl laughing while talking to her mom.
Unsplash/ Baylee Gramling

20. How Long is a Chinese man’s name?

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Answer

No, it actually is.
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21. Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.

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Answer

That’s just how I roll.
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22. Does your dog bite?

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Answer

Nope. Oh, so how do you feed him?
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23. I got fired from my job as a taxi driver.

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Answer

It turns out my customers didn’t like it when I tried to go the extra mile.
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24. When is a joke a dad joke?

This one might take your audience a little time to catch onto. But once that punch line lands, it is hilarious.

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Answer

When it’s apparent!
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Man with sunglasses leaning on a porch rail.
Unsplash / Peter Idowu

25. Thank you student loans for getting me through college.

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Answer

I don’t think I can ever repay you.
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26. Every single morning I get hit by the same bike.

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Answer

It’s a vicious cycle.
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27. How many lips does a flower have?

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Answer

Tu-lips.
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28. How do you stop a bull from charging?

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Answer

Cancel its credit card.
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29. Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle?

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Answer

Because he’s always lion.
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A beautiful-looking lion. - corny jokes
Unsplash / Arleen wiese

14 corny knock knock jokes

Knock knock jokes have been told for what seems to be forever. But it doesn’t matter if you are 10 or 110, knock knock jokes are always a winner.

30. Knock knock. Who’s there? To. To who?

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Answer

To whom!
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For those of you who love being grammatically correct, this one is for you.

31. Knock knock. Who’s there? Cow says.

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Answer

Cow says who? No, it says moo.
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32. Knock knock. Who’s there? Robin. Robin who?

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Answer

Robin you, now hand over the cash.
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33. Knock knock. Who’s there? Etch. Etch who?

This joke is sweet and mannerly. Just the way I like my corny jokes.

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Answer

Bless you, friend.
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Sneezing man covers his nose with a napkin.
Unsplash / Brittany Colette

34. Knock knock. Who’s there? I smell mop. I smell mop who?

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Answer

Ew.
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35. Knock knock. Who’s there? Candice. Candice who?

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Answer

Candice door open, or what?
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36. Knock knock. Who’s there? Bully! Bully who?

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Answer

Bully Jean is not my lover.
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37. Knock knock. Who’s there? Barbara! Barbara who?

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Answer

Barbara black sheep have you any wool?
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38. Knock knock. Who’s there? Wendy! Wendy who?

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Answer

Wendy wind blows de cradle will fall.
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A girl blowing the dandelion flower.
Unsplash / Nine Köpfer

39. Knock knock. Who’s there? Adore. Adore who?

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Answer

Adore is between us. Open up!
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40. Knock knock. Who’s there? Avenue. Avenue who?

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Answer

Avenue knocked on this door before?
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41. Knock knock. Who’s there? Ben. Ben who?

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Answer

Ben knocking on this door all morning, let me in!
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42. Knock knock. Who’s there? Ferdie! Ferdie who?

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Answer

Ferdie last time open this door!
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43. Knock knock. Who’s there? Irish. Irish who?

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Answer

Irish you a nice day.
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Men tossing glasses of beer in a bar. - corny jokes
Pexels / Pressmaster

14 corny math jokes

While math may not be for everyone, you can’t deny that math jokes are hilarious! From decimals to algebra, math jokes are as smart as they are funny.

44. To the mathematicians who thought of the idea of zero…

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Answer

Thanks for nothing!
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45. Not all math puns are bad.

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Answer

Just sum.
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46. What is the official animal of Pi Day?

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Answer

The pi-thon.
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47. Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?

This one is particularly funny for anyone who has ever had to apply for a loan.

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Answer

His parents wouldn’t cosine.
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Lending company establishment. - corny jokes
Unsplash / The New York Public Library

48. Why did the Romans think algebra was so easy?

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Answer

They knew X was always 10!
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49. Why can’t the number 4 get into the nightclub?

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Answer

Because he is 2 square.
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50. What did one decimal say to the other?

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Answer

Did you get my point?
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51. What do you get if you cross a math teacher and a clock?

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Answer

Arithma-ticks!
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52. Who invented the Round Table?

Who knew mixing trigonometry and Medieval mythology could make such a great joke?

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Answer

Sir Cumference.
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An array set-up of tables and chairs.
Unsplash / Angelo Pantazis

53. There are 10 types of mathematicians.

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Answer

Those who know binary and those who don’t.
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54. What is a mathematician’s favorite season?

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Answer

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Answer

Sum-mer.
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55. Do you know what seems odd?

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Answer

Numbers that aren’t divisible by 2.
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56. How can you make seven even?

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Answer

Take away the “S”.
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57. What are ten things you can always count on?

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Answer

Your fingers.
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14 corny yet stupid jokes

Girlfriends laughing together - corny jokes
Unsplash / Priscilla Du Preez

Sometimes a corny joke has to be really stupid to be funny. When you are telling stupid jokes, you really need to leave feeling of embarrassment at the door.

58. What did the guitar say to the musician?

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Answer

“Pick on someone your own size!”
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59. A limbo champion walks into a bar.

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Answer

They are disqualified.
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60. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?

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Answer

Because they taste funny.
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61. Why are rivers always rich?

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Answer

Because they have two banks.
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62. I used to have two kidneys.

This joke is both kid friendly and easy enough for a child to understand. It’s fun for all the family!

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Answer

Then I grew up. Now I have two adult knees.
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Three little girls sitting on the grass.
Unsplash / Charlein Gracia

63. I went to buy camouflage trousers…

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Answer

but I couldn’t find any.
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64. Life is like a box of chocolates.

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Answer

It doesn’t last long if you’re fat.
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65. People who like trance music are very persistent.

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Answer

They don’t techno for an answer.
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66. I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

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Answer

I said: “Are you two an item?
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67.An escalator can never break.

As jokes go, this one is more thought provoking than it is funny.

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Answer

They only become stairs.
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Person in red shoes walking up the stairs.
Unsplash / Lindsay Hendwood

68. I’m a big fan of whiteboards.

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Answer

I find them quite re-markable.
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69. I’m reading a horror story in Braille.

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Answer

Something bad is about to happen… I can feel it.
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70. Just burned 2,000 calories.

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Answer

That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
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71. Where do cows go for entertainment?

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Answer

To the moo-vies!
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14 corny birthday jokes

Toy decorations - corny jokes
Unsplash / Hello I’m Nik

Birthdays are already really fun but do you know what makes them even better? Birthday jokes! These jokes are great for any birthday party.

72. Is it getting warmer here or…

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Answer

Is it all the candles on your birthday cake?
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73. I asked my mother where I have been born when she told me in a hospital.

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Answer

I responded: “Mom was I ill?”
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74. Looking 50 is great!

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Answer

If you’re 60.
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75. Honey, you really don’t have to do the dishes on your birthday.

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Answer

Do it tomorrow.
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76. What do you say to a kangaroo on its birthday?

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Answer

Hoppy Birthday.
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If you have a kid in your life that loves kangaroos, this one is the one for you.

Cute kangaroo poses for the camera. - corny jokes
Unsplash / Yujia Tang

77. I like birthdays but I think…

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Answer

too many can kill you.
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78. I was born to be a pessimist.

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Answer

My blood type is B Negative.
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79. The best way to remember your wife’s birthday…

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Answer

Is to forget it once.
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80. “Were any famous men born on your birthday?”

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Answer

“No, only little babies.”
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81. When I was born I was so surprised…

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Answer

I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
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Beware of using this joke in the middle of a conversation. It may actually sound like a proper statement.

Adorable baby's hand touched by an adult's fingers.
Unsplash / Aditya Romansa

82. You are so old…

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Answer

The candles on your birthday cake raised the earth’s temperature by 3 degrees.
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83. How do pickles celebrate their birthdays?

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Answer

They relish the moment.
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84. The best way to remember your wife’s birthday…

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Answer

Is to forget it once.
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85. Regular naps prevent old age…

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Answer

Especially if you take them while driving.
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12 corny old people jokes

An old lady, smiling sweetly. - corny jokes
Pixabay / Free-Photos

When it comes to telling corny jokes, old people jokes are the best. From joking about growing old to false teeth, these old people jokes will make everyone laugh.

86. You know you’re old when…

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Answer

you and your teeth don’t sleep together.
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87. You know you’re getting old when you have…

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Answer

More candles on your cake than friends at your birthday party.
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88. When my granddad was 65, he started running a mile a day to keep fit.

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Answer

He’s now 70 and we have mo idea where he is.
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89. When I was a boy…

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Answer

The Dead Sea was only sick.
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90. I want to die peacefully in my sleep as my grandfather did.

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Answer

Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
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Dark humor isn’t for everyone. But this joke might be.

Old man fell asleep while sitting on a park bench.
Unsplash / Александр Суслов

91. The older we get…

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Answer

The fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
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92. You know you are old when there is…

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Answer

Nothing left to learn the hard way.
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93. You know you are old when people…

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Answer

Tell you how good you look.
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94. You know, you get that tattoo of barbed wire when you’re 18, but by the time you’re 80…

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Answer

it’s a picket fence.
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95. You know you’re getting old when you go to an antique auction…

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Answer

And three people bid on you.
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Both funny and weirdly complimentary, this joke is really funny.

Auction market for antique stuff.
Unsplash / Asim Z Kodappana

96. How are stars like false teeth?

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Answer

They both come out at night!
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97. At age 70, my grandfather…

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Answer

Bought his first riding lawnmower.
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15 corny dog jokes

Dogs are mans best friend, but their antics are great for coming up with great dog jokes.

98. What do dogs eat at the movie theaters?

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Answer

Pupcorn.
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99. Why do dogs like sandpaper?

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Answer

Because they’re ruff.
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Some jokes are specifically made for kids, and this is one of them.

A cute-looking black puppy. - corny jokes
Unsplash / Charles Deluvio

100. How do dog catchers get paid?

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Answer

By the pound!
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101. He’s not a bad dog.

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Answer

He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
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102. What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?

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Answer

A friend you can count on.
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103. What do you call a large dog that meditates?

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Answer

Aware wolf.
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104. What do dogs do after they finish obedience school?

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Answer

They get their masters.
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Who’s a smart boy? This dog is and the joke is pretty hilarious too.

Adorable dog with a little bone on its nose.
Unsplash / McDobbie Hu

105. Why did the dog breeder go to the dentist?

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Answer

Because one of his canines was loose.
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106. Have you had a bad day?

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Answer

Just pug-get about it.
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107. What dog will laugh at any joke?

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Answer

A Chi-ha-ha.
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108. What’s a dog’s favorite drink at Starbucks?

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Answer

A pugkin spiced latte.
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109. What did the dog say to his wife?

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Answer

You are so pawfect, I will love you furever.
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Brown-colored dog with a collar, waving.
Unsplash / Camylla Battani

110. What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?

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Answer

A petticoat.
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111. “We’re eating dinner soon.

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Answer

Don’t fill up on homework.” —Dog mom
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18 corny but best one liner jokes

There is no other type of joke that is as funny as a one liner. Except maybe for the best one liner jokes  that are especially corny.

112. I was playing chess with my friend and he said, ‘Let’s make this interesting.’

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Answer

So we stopped playing chess.
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113. Did you hear about the semi-colon that broke the law?

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Answer

He was given two consecutive sentences.
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For all the English-lovers out there, this one goes out to you!

A colon/semi colon keyboard element. - corny jokes
Unsplash / Connor Pope

114. Have you played the updated kids’ game?

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Answer

I Spy With My Little Eye . . . Phone.
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115. So what if I don’t know what “Armageddon” means?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

It’s not the end of the world.
[/learn_more]

116. My girlfriend broke up with me so I took her wheelchair.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Guess who came crawling back.
[/learn_more]

117. A guy rushed past me at the post office to deliver 25 different letters.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

He skipped the Q.
[/learn_more]

118. My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline;

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

She hit the roof.
[/learn_more]

A ballerina flexes an artistic jump.
Unsplash / todd kent

119. How did I escape Iraq?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Iran.
[/learn_more]

120. My nickname at school was Scarface.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

I was really good at knitting.
[/learn_more]

121. I just found out I’m colorblind.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.
[/learn_more]

122. If you cut off your left arm…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Then your right arm will be left.
[/learn_more]

123. The dinner I was cooking for my family was going to be a surprise but…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

The fire trucks ruined it.
[/learn_more]
If you are a terrible cook, don’t use this joke. Because someone might actually believe you.

An old red truck with dilapidated paint.
Unsplash / sergiu zarnoaga

124. My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Or something like that…
[/learn_more]

125. Why don’t developers carry guns?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

They have troubleshooting.
[/learn_more]

126. As the judge sentenced me to death, I tried to offer him a high five.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

But he left me hanging.
[/learn_more]

127. What kind of music do planets like?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Neptunes.
[/learn_more]

128. I just called the paranoia hotline…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

A guy answered, “How did you get this number?!”
[/learn_more]

129. Improve your memory by…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

doing unforgettable things.
[/learn_more]

15 corny walks into a bar jokes

A fine-looking bar. - corny jokes
Unsplash / Patrick Tomasso

Some jokes are classics. From knock knock jokes to cheesy jokes, walks into a bar jokes are the definite King of jokes.

130. A robot walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve robots.” The robot replies…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

“Oh, but someday you will.”
[/learn_more]

131.Two dragons walk into a bar. The first one says, “It sure is hot in here.”His friend snaps back…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

“Shut your mouth!”
[/learn_more]

132. A guy walks into a bar carrying jumper cables. The bartender says…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

“Hey pal, don’t start anything in here.”
[/learn_more]

133. Four fonts walk into a bar. The bar man says:

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

“Please get out, We don’t want your type in here.
[/learn_more]

134. An elf, a man, and a wizard walk into a bar.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

The hobbit laughs as he walks under it.
[/lear_more]

Person in an elf-wizard mask pointing a magic wand.
Unsplash / Chase Clark

When you need a Lord of The Rings joke, this one is for you.

135. A perfectionist walked into a bar…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Apparently, the bar wasn’t set high enough.
[/learn_more]

136. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says:

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

“Sorry, we don’t serve food in here.
[/learn_more]

137. Two guys walk into a bar.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

The third one ducks.
[/learn_more]

138. A Roman walks into a bar, hold up two fingers, and says…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

“Five beers please.”
[/learn_more]

139. Five guys walk into a bar.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

You think one of them would’ve seen it.
[/learn_more]
Oh those silly guys! This joke nearly has you feeling sorry for those guys.

Five men enjoying a table of foods and drinks.
Unsplash / Zach Reiner

140. A blind man walks into a bar.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

And a table. And a door. And a staircase.
[/learn_more]

141. Two husbands walk into a bar.The first one says, “My wife is an angel.” The second one says…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

“You’re lucky! Mine is still alive.”
[/learn_more]

142. A hamburger walks into a bar. The bartender says…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

“I’m sorry. We don’t serve food here.”
[/learn_more]

143. E-flat walks into a bar. The bartender says…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

“Sorry, we don’t serve minors.”
[/learn_more]

144. A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here.”…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

A time traveler walks into a bar.
[/learn_more]

13 corny military jokes

Military tactical helmets. - corny jokes
Unsplash / israel palacio

Military jokes are hilarious. Especially if they are super corny. These jokes are a combination of rule-breaking and corniness that will have everyone laughing.

145. What does a soldier write with?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

A weapen.
[/learn_more]
The image of a soldier writing with a tiny pen is sure to have everyone laughing.

146. Did You Hear about the Accident at the Army Base?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

A tank ran over a box of popcorn and killed two colonels.
[/learn_more]

147. How do you know if there is a Navy SEAL at the bar?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Don’t worry, he’ll tell you.
[/learn_more]

148. Which Month Do Soldiers Hate?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

March!
[/learn_more]

149. The Sergeant-Major growled at the young soldier:

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

“I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning.” “Thank you very much, sir.”
[/learn_more]
And just like that young soldier, the laughter to this joke can come straight out of blue.

A soldier wandering through the wilderness.
Unsplash / Specna Arms

150. Have You Heard about the Karate Champion Who Joined the Military?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

He nearly killed himself the first time he saluted!
[/learn_more]

151. Where do military people get all their shoes from?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Boot Camp.
[/learn_more]

152. What do you call the leader of a trash army?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

General Waste.
[/learn_more]

153. Why did the computer technician get kicked out of the army?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

He had troubleshooting.
[/learn_more]

154. Where Do Rabbits Learn to Fly?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

In the hare force!
[/learn_more]
A joke that is funny and cute? Sign me up!

Airforce fighter jets flying on formation.
Unsplash / UX Gun

155. When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. That’s why in the Navy…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

The captain goes down with the ship.
[/learn_more]

156. What plant grows in a soldier’s garden?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Ambush.
[/learn_more]

157. What do you call a gun loaded with ammo?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

A ri-full.
[/learn_more]

12 corny coffee jokes

Everyone loves coffee. And what is better than coffee I hear you ask? That’s right, corny coffee jokes!

158. What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

I asked for coffee.
[/learn_more]
Sarcastic and a bit sassy, this joke is funny straight off the bat.

Classic cup of coffee with scattered beans for aesthetics.
Unsplash / Mike Keneally

159. How did the hipster burn his tongue?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

He drank his coffee before it was cool.
[/learn_more]

160. Why don’t snakes drink coffee?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Because it makes them ‘viperactive’.
[/learn_more]

161. What is the best Beatles song?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Latte Be!
[/learn_more]
Warning! If you tell this joke, there is a chance that people will involuntarily start singing “Let It Be”. You have been warned.

162. What do you get when you pour coffee into a black hole?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Hyperspace.
[/learn_more]

163. What do you call the first level of a coffee factory?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

The ground floor.
[/learn_more]
With clever wordplay and perfect performance, this joke could be brilliant.

Scoops ground and whole coffee beans.
Unsplash / Nathan Dumlao

164. How does Henry VIII like his coffee?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Decap.
[/learn_more]

165. What did the coffee say to the other?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Where you bean all my life?
[/learn_more]
Who knew bean jokes could be so smooth?

166. What do you call a couple of coffee bullies?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Mean beans.
[/learn_more]

167. What’s Dracula’s favourite type of coffee?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Decoffinated.
[/learn_more]

168. How do I take my coffee?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Very seriously.
[/learn_more]
Tell this joke with an added bit of drama and a raised eyebrow and you’ll have a joke that will have people laughing for ages!

Artistically splattered coffee from a paper cup.
Unsplash / Ohmky

169. Would you like your coffee black?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

What other colors do you have?
[/learn_more]

12 corny lawyer jokes

Whether you are telling jokes to lawyers or a room full of people who have never hired a lawyer, lawyer jokes are always funny.

170. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

The lawyer charges more.
[/learn_more]

171. What did the lawyer name his daughter?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Sue!
[/learn_more]

172. Nothing comes easy in life.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Even Santa comes with a clause.
[/learn_more]
Sometimes jokes just have to get real you know?

Waving Santa beside a Christmas tree, pitching corny jokes.
Unsplash / Tom Mossholder

173. What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

A father in law!
[/learn_more]

174. What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

The caterer.
[/learn_more]

175. What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Accountants know they’re boring.
[/learn_more]

176. A criminal lawyer…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Is a redundancy.
[/learn_more]

177. Why don’t snakes bite lawyers?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Professional courtesy.
[/learn_more]
An insult and a joke all rolled into one? This joke is on another level.

A man buttoning his fine-looking suit.
Unsplash / Hunters Race

178. What do you call 15 lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Not enough sand.
[/learn_more]

179. How does an attorney sleep?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

First, he lies on one side, and then on the other.
[/learn_more]

180. What’s the difference between a lawyer and God?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

God doesn’t think he’s a lawyer.
[/learn_more]

181. When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

When his lips are shut.
[/learn_more]

12 corny office jokes

An office full of busy, working employees. - corny jokes
Unsplash / Alex Kotliarskyi

Offices are so funny, they even made a TV show about them. So it’s a safe bet that when you tell office jokes, you will have every Pam, Jim and Michael in your office laughing.

182. Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

He took a day off.
[/learn_more]

183. I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

But when I got home, all the signs were there.
[/learn_more]

184. I quit my job at the helium gas factory.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

I refused to be talked to in that tone of voice!
[/learn_more]

185. How do construction workers party?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

They raise the roof.
[/learn_more]

186. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

On my desk, I have a work station…
[/learn_more]
This one is great for work parties, once your boss isn’t around to hear it.

Friends, sharing corny jokes and having fun together while working.
Unsplash / Brooke Cagle

187. The trouble with being punctual is that…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Nobody’s there to appreciate it.
[/learn_more]

188. I used to work in the office at a stationery firm but I quit.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

I felt it wasn’t going anywhere.
[/learn_more]

189. I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

And that’s how I lost my job as a bus driver.
[/learn_more]

190. Coworker: Do you ever think about work at home?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Me: I don’t even think about work at work!
[/learn_more]

191. Being an astronaut is funny.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

It’s the only job where you get fired before you start work.
[/learn_more]

192. If an accountant’s spouse cannot sleep, what is the best cure?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Ask the accountant to talk about their work.
[/learn_more]

193. The closest a person ever comes to perfection is…

Harsh but true, this joke will definitely make the job hunters in your group laugh, or cry. It really depends.
[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

When he fills out a job application form.
[/learn_more]

A man holding a pen, writing/sketching.
Pexels / Andrea Piacquadio

14 corny church jokes

From the Old Testament to Revelations, religion can sometimes be boring. So why not add some humor and tell some church jokes?

194. Jesus Christ walks into a bar.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

He orders a water.
[/learn_more]

195. How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

By his net income.
[/learn_more]

196. Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.
[/learn_more]

197. And God said to John, come forth and you shall be granted eternal life. But John …

In the Bible, they never said it was a competition!

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

came fifth and won a toaster.
[/learn_more]

A toasted bread with a cute kitty design.
Pexels / Buenosia Carol

198. At what time of day was Adam created?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

A little before Eve.
[/learn_more]

199. Who’s the patron saint of poverty?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

St. Nickeless.
[/learn_more]

200. Need an ark?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

I noah guy.
[/learn_more]

201. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Ruthless.
[/learn_more]

202. Why are there so many old people in Church?

Nothing says corny joke quite like this dark revelation.
[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

They’re cramming for the final.
[/learn_more]

Array of long benches inside the church.
Pexels / Nikko Tan

203. Who was the fastest runner in the race?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Adam. He was first in the human race.
[/learn_more]

204. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
[/learn_more]

205. If Mary had Jesus, and Jesus was a little lamb…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Does that mean Mary had a little lamb?
[/learn_more]

206. What’s the best way to study the Bible?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

You Luke into it.
[/learn_more]

207. Why is it necessary to be quiet in church?

If you have ever fallen asleep at church, you know that this joke is both funny and true.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Because people are sleeping.
[/learn_more]

A kid covers his face with his palms.
Unsplash / Annie Spratt

14 corny and cheesy jokes

Do you know what is better than bringing cheese to a party? Bringing cheesy jokes to a party, obviously!

208. What did the toilet tell the other toilet?

Talking toilets? What’s not funny about some toilet humor?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

You look flushed.
[/learn_more]

209. Why was the strawberry crying?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

His mom and dad were in a jam.
[/learn_more]

210. Which is the longest word in the dictionary?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Smile. There is a mile between S and E.
[/learn_more]

211. What did the hat say to the other?

What could be funnier than a talking hat?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

You stay here, I’ll go on ahead.
[/learn_more]

Rustic, fashionable hats in a mall display stand.
Unsplash / Artem Beliaikin

212. What pet makes the loudest noise?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

A trumpet!
[/learn_more]

213. What did the janitor say when he got out of the closet?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Supplies!
[/learn_more]

214. What did the hamburger name his daughter?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Patty.
[/learn_more]

215. What do you call an illegally parked frog?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Toad.
[/learn_more]

216. What do you call a bear in the rain?…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

A Drizzley Bear!!!
[/learn_more]

217. How many Mexican guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Just Juan.
[/learn_more]

218. What cheese can you use to hide a horse?

If you use this with a group of kids, you are guaranteed laughs!

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

MASCARPONE!
[/learn_more]

Cheese and breads on a wooden board.
Pexels / NastyaSensei

219. What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Quatro Sinko.
[/learn_more]

220. How did the Italian chef die?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

He pasta way.
[/learn_more]

221. Knock, knock. Who’s there?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Doorbell repairman.
[/learn_more]

14 corny but witty jokes

Hilarious jokes are great but sometimes the most subtle jokes are the funniest. That’s when you need some witty jokes up your sleeve.

222. Heard about that new band called 1023 MB?

For all you computer technicians, this one is for you!

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

They haven’t had any gigs yet.
[/learn_more]

Four memory cards held by a nail-polished fingers.
Pexels / Lisa Fotios

223. How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Ask them to pronounce “unionized.”
[/learn_more]

224. What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do at night?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

He stays up wondering if there really is a dog.
[/learn_more]

225. A Buddhist monk approaches a burger food-truck and says…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

“Make me one with everything.”
[/learn_more]

226. What did the DNA say to the other DNA?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

“Do these genes make me look fat?”
[/learn_more]

227. David lost his ID.

This one is so corny, it is hard not to laugh.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

He now answers to Dav.
[/learn_more]

A driver's license.
Pexels / Dom J

228. Helium walks into a bar, the bartender says “We don’t serve noble gases in here.”

If you ever find yourself at a science convention, this one will help your comedy career take off!

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Helium doesn’t react.
[/learn_more]

229. As I said before…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

I never repeat myself.
[/learn_more]

230. I would make another chemistry joke…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

But all good ones ARGON!
[/learn_more]

231. I was going to say a witty, hilarious and intelligent joke about time-traveling…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

but you guys didn’t like it.ityy
[/learn_more]

232. I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium got together and I was like…

And they said learning the periodic table in school would help you. Help you understand this joke more like!

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

OMg.
[/learn_more]

lady in a pink sweater, laughing hard.
Unsplash / Gabrielle Henderson

233. How do you know when a woman is about to say something intelligent?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

She starts her sentence with “A man once told me”
[/learn_more]

234. Why did Charlotte Bronte make it easier to breathe?

When you find an audience that loves English literature, this joke is the perfect one to tell.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

She created Eyre.
[/learn_more]

235. Your mother is so classless…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

She could be a Marxist utopia.
[/learn_more]

14 corny but the funniest jokes ever

While some people hate corny jokes, it’s hard to deny that some jokes are the funniest jokes ever.

236. Be polite to every idiot you meet. He could be your boss tomorrow.

When jokes are funny and possibly true, it makes them even more hilarious!

Dapper-looking guy in a suit, working on his table.
Pexels / Moose Photos

237. Important note from a car manual:

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Backing rapidly at a tree significantly reduces your trunk space.
[/learn_more]

238. What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

It gets toad away.
[/learn_more]

239. What do you get if you crossbreed a cute Easter rabbit with an insect?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Bugs Bunny.
[/learn_more]

240. Genie: What is your final wish? Me: I wish I were you! Genue:

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Weurd but alrught.
[/learn_more]

241. My girlfriend got sick to her stomach when I told her I put ginger in our curry.

Oh! With a turn like that, it is hard not to laugh!

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

She loved that cat.[/learn_more]

Bowl of noodle soup with ginger and lime.
Unsplash / The Creative Exchange

242. My girlfriend says that I am snoopy. But…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

OK, maybe she meant it differently when she wrote it in her diary.
[/learn_more]

243. Today I went for a walk with a beautiful girl.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Then she noticed me so we went for a run.
[/learn_more]

244. Do not go to the bathroom in a dream.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

It’s a trap!
[/learn_more]

245. Do you know what DNA stands for?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

National Dyslexic Association.
[/learn_more]

246. If you understand English, press 1. If you do not understand English…

Or you could be the person in the audience that screams back, “But I don’t understand English”. The heckling to this joke might just be funnier than the joke itself.
[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Press 2.
[/learn_more]

Number keys.
Unsplash / James Orr

247. What lights up a soccer stadium?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

A soccer match.
[/learn_more]

248. If alcohol influences short-term memory…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

What does alcohol do?
[/learn_more]

249. If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get?

When you combine Christmas and a joke, do you know what you get? A guaranteed corny joke!
[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Mistle-toes.
[/learn_more]

13 corny what do you call jokes

Here’s a joke for you. What are the best type of jokes? What do you call jokes! Get it? No? Ok, well here are some better jokes that are sure to get your friends laughing.

250. What do you call a walking nun?

Tell this joke with a few jazz hands and a hand clap for extra effect.
[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

A Rome-ing Catholic.
[/learn_more]

A beautiful view of Rome.
Unsplash / Ágatha Depiné

251. What do you call a bear with no teeth?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

A gummy bear.
[/learn_more]

252. What do you call a factory that sells passable products?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

A satisfactory!
[/learn_more]

253. What do you call a loan from a bison?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

A BUFFA-LOAN.
[/learn_more]

254. What do you call a swim team made up of girls named Jennifer?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

HydroJens!
[/learn_more]

255. What do you call an old snowman?

Both sad and funny, this joke will get people to laugh and cry in equal measure.
[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Water.
[/learn_more]

A snowman wearing a red sun visor.
Unsplash / Shelley Pauls

256. What do you call someone who immigrated to Sweden?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Artificial Swedener.
[/learn_more]

257. What do you call a spy frog?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

James Pond
[/learn_more]

258. What do you call a track meet for cross-dressers?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

A drag race.
[/learn_more]

259. What do you call horses that come out at night?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Night mares.
[/learn_more]

260. What do you call a rich elf?

There is nothing quite like having to put an English accent on to really make a punch line work.
[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Welfy.
[/learn_more]

Two cute toy display elves, sitting.
Unsplash / erin mckenna

261. What do you call artificial spaghetti?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

A mock-aroni!
[/learn_more]

262. What do you call a doctor with 8 hands?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

A doctopus.
[/learn_more]

14 corny new year’s jokes

New Year’s a time for reflecting on the year that has passed and the time yet to come. And sometimes it’s just a great time to tell New Years jokes.

263. My New Years resolution is…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

1080p.
[/learn_more]

264. My resolution was to read more so…

Well, I guess, that’s one why to do it.
[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

I put the subtitles on my tv.

[/learn_more]

A converted television to an aquarium.
Unsplash / Sam Balye

265. My wife still hasn’t told me…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

What my New Year’s resolutions are.
[/learn_more]

266. Youth is…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

When you’re allowed to stay up for New Year.
[/learn_more]

267. Middle age is…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

When you’re forced to.
[/learn_more]

268. What’s a cow’s favorite holiday?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Moo Year’s Day.
[/learn_more]

269. I remember last year like…

As the most used joke around New Year’s Day, this joke never gets old!
[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

It was yesterday.
[/learn_more]

A beautiful fireworks display.
Unsplash / Chris Gilbert

270. Where is New Years Eve so Mathematical?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Times Square!
[/learn_more]

271. What does a Ghost say on January 1st?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Happy BOO year!
[/learn_more]

272. What did the cheerleaders say on New Year’s Day?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Happy New Cheer!
[/learn_more]

273. What did Stephen like to be called on December 31st?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

New Year’s Steve.
[/learn_more]

274. What’s the problem with jogging on New Year’s Eve?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

The ice falls out of your drinks.
[/learn_more]

A girl running beneath the seaside.
Unsplash / Filip Mroz

275. Usually, my main goal at a New Year’s party is…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

To remember who I came with.
[/learn_more]

276. My New Year’s resolution is…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

To take all the Christmas lights down by Easter.
[/learn_more]

15 corny thanksgiving jokes

There is a strange part of Thanksgiving where all the food is gone and your Dad is asleep on the couch. All you need to liven up the party is a few Thanksgiving jokes.

277. One turkey to the another:

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Do you think there is life after Thanksgiving?
[/learn_more]

278. What’s the universal key to a lovely Thanksgiving?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

The turkey.
[/learn_more]

A cluster of keys hanged on a wall.
Unsplash / Silas Köhler

279. What does a disappointed mama turkey tell her kids?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

If your father were to see you now, he would be turning over in his grave-y!
[/learn_more]

280. What smells the best at dinner on Thanksgiving?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

The family dog’s nose.
[/learn_more]

281. What does a Pilgrim call his friends.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Pal-grims.
[/learn_more]

282. What usually comes at the end of Thanksgiving?

Stating the obvious has been the backbone of great joke, and this one is no different.
Traditionally, the letter G.
[/learn_more]

Four guys on a cliffside, laughing together at corny jokes.
Unsplash / Mattheus Ferrero

283. How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Only one, but you really have to squeeze them in.
[/learn_more]

284. Why did the Pilgrim die in the car crash?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Because he didn’t buckle up.
[/learn_more]

285. What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

The turkey trot.
[/learn_more]

286. What does a turkey drink from?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

A gobble-t.
[/learn_more]

287. I only have…

When it comes to corny jokes, this one is kinda sweet. It also makes me want pie.
[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Pies for you.
[/learn_more]

Delicious-looking pie being sliced.
Pexels / Element5 Digital

288. What do you call a running turkey?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Fast food.
[/learn_more]

289. What’s blue and covered in feathers?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

A turkey holding its breath.
[/learn_more]

290. “What do you call the age of a pilgrim?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Pilgrimage.
[/learn_more]

291. Why did they let the turkey join the band?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Because he had his own drumsticks.
[/learn_more]

12 corny christmas jokes

Red, well-designed Christmas balls decoration. - corny jokes
Unsplash / freestock

Christmas is a time for family and friends and gathering around a fire. When you are getting cozy, these Christmas jokes are sure to make everyone fall around laughing.

292. What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

looking for a job the next day.
[/learn_more]

293. Why does Santa have three gardens?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

So he can ‘ho ho ho’!
[/learn_more]

294. What did Santa ask Rudolph about the weather?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Is it going to rain dear?!
[/learn_more]

295. What do you call a three-legged donkey?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

A wonky donkey!
[/learn_more]

296. Which football team did the baby Jesus support?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Manger-ster United!
[/learn_more]

297. What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk?

If all the children in your group are holding their noses, you know you are onto a winner.
[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Jingle Smells!
[/learn_more]

Cute puppy wrapped in a Christmas outfit.
Unsplash / Jakob Owens

298. Why is everyone so thirsty at the north pole?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

No well, no well!
[/learn_more]

299. What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

A pineapple!
[/learn_more]

300. What do call Santa when he stops moving?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Santa Pause!
[/learn_more]

301. Where do reindeer go dancing?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

A: Christmas balls!
[/learn_more]

302. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?

When it comes to corny jokes, you can’t beat the classics.
[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

A Christmas Quacker.
[/learn_more]

Colorful duck standing on the water.
Unsplash / Ravi Singh

303. How many gifts can Santa squeeze in an empty stocking?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

One. It’s not empty after the first one.
[/learn_more]

304. What kind of a bike does Santa ride in his spare time?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

A Holly Davidson.
[/learn_more]

12 corny blonde jokes

They say blondes have more fun but blonde jokes can sometimes drop flat depending on the crowd.

305. Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, “It’s dark in here isn’t it?” The other replied…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

“I don’t know; I can’t see.”
[/learn_more]

306. Why can’t a blonde dial 911?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

She can’t find the eleven.
[/learn_more]

307. What did the blonde say when she saw the Cheerios box?

You could say that the blone is being silly, but really they are just dreamers.
[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

“Omg, donut seeds!”
[/learn_more]

Mouth-watering sprinkled donuts.
Unsplash / Stanislav Kondratiev

308. What’s the difference between a smart blonde and a unicorn?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Nothing, they’re both fictional characters.
[/learn_more]

309. How do you confuse a blonde?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Give her a box of corn flakes and tell her it’s a jigsaw puzzle.
[/learn_more]

310. How do you keep a blonde busy?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Write “flip” on both sides of a sheet of paper.
[/learn_more]

311. Why do blondes stare at orange juice containers for hours on end?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Because they say “concentrate.”
[/learn_more]

312. What do blondes do when their laptop freezes?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Microwave them!
[/learn_more]

313. Why’d the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

She kept throwing out all the W’s.
[/learn_more]

314. Because they go answer the door.

Telling jokes is hard, but making them as clever as this one is difficult.
[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Why can’t you tell blondes knock-knock jokes?
[/learn_more]

Vintage design wooden front door.
Unsplash / Beto Galetto

315. A blonde and a brunette jump from a skyscraper.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

The brunette lands first. Why? The blonde got lost on the way.
[/learn_more]

316. How do you get a blonde to laugh at a joke on Saturday?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Tell it to her on Tuesday.
[/learn_more]

15 corny shark jokes

Sharks. The King of the Ocean. They are not to be messed with. Well maybe a little bit, especially if you know great shark jokes.

Here are 15 corny shark jokes.

317. What do you call a solitary shark?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

A loan shark.
[/learn_more]

318. What did the shark get on his biology test?

While some jokes are great told aloud, this one is definitely at its best when it’s sent in a message.
[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

A sea-minus.
[/learn_more]

A view of a shark under water.
Unsplash / Gerald Schömbs

319. What is a shark’s favorite Bible story?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Noah’s Shark.
[/learn_more]

320. What do sharks do when they have a big choice to make?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Chews wisely.
[/learn_more]

321. How do you throw a shark out of a bar?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

You cast it out.
[learn_more]

322. What did the shark tell his friend?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Water you up to, mate?
[/learn_more]

323. How do sharks stay up all night?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

They drink jaw-va.
[/learn_more]

A shark at rage on the water surface.
Unsplash / Alex Stein

324. What does a shark eat for dinner?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Whatever it wants!
[/learn_more]

325. I saw a singing shark once…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

In the Choral Reef.
[/learn_more]

326. Where are sharks from?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Finland.
[/learn_more]

327. What is a sharks favorite sci-fi show?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Shark Trek.
[/learn_more]

328. What was the shark’s favorite Pixar movie?

Shocking and hilarious, this joke will have everyone laughing!
[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Eating Nemo.

[/learn_more]

A clown fish in its natural habitat.
Unsplash / David Clode

329. How did the hammerhead shark do on his test?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

He nailed it.
[/learn_more]

330. Having Shark Week is totally racist…

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Because all I hear that week is Great White.
[/learn_more]

331. Why do sharks live in saltwater?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Because pepper water would make them sneeze.
[/learn_more]

18 corny pirate jokes

Pirates are funny for a lot of reasons. From their eye patch to having one leg, pirate jokes are hilarious.

332. Have you ever heard any good pirate jokes?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Well neither have ayyye!
[/learn_more]

Typical pirate ship wandering through the open sea.
Unsplash / Austin Neill

333. Where do pirates buy their hooks?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

At a second-hand store.
[/learn_more]

334. Why did the pirate go out of business?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

He didn’t know how to raise his sales.
[/learn_more]

335. What do pirates use to treat burns?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Ahoy Vera.
[/learn_more]

336. What do you call a philosophical pirate?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Arrristotle.
[/learn_more]

337. Why are pirates good boxers?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

They have a mean right hook.
[/learn_more]

338. How do pirates know they’re pirates?

Oh, a philosophical joke? This one is sure to make the most straight-laced audience laugh.
[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

They think, therefore they arrrr.

[/learn_more]

An eye-patched pirate.
Unsplash / Scott Umstattd

339. Why does it take pirates a long time to learn the alphabet?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Because they can spend years at C!
[/learn_more]

340. Pirates make fantastic singers.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

You should hear it when they hit the high Cs.
[/learn_more]

341. What kind of a ship is most feared by pirates?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

The Steady Relation ship.
[/learn_more]

342. Why don’t you usually see a pirate that is a smoker?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Because they use the patch.
[/learn_more]

343. How do pirates prefer to communicate?

Well you know, eye contact is crucial for great communication.
[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Aye to aye!

[/learn_more]

A toy mini-pirate.
Unsplash / Markus Spiske

344. Who was the first pirate?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Noah, the builder of the Arrrrk.
[/learn_more]

345. Why did the pirate give up playing golf?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Because he kept hooking the ball.
[/learn_more]

346. How do pirates make their money?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

By hook or by crook.
[/learn_more]

347. How did the pirate find out he needed glasses?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

He took an aye exam!
[/learn_more]

348. 3.14% of sailors are…

Who knew that combining maths and pirates would result in such funny joke?
[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Pi Rates.
[/learn_more]

Two men in a pirate costumes.
Unsplash / Nick Karvounis

349. Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand.

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

That pirate is now known as Captain Hook.
[/learn_more]

15 corny yet bad jokes

When someone tells bad jokes, it can really bring down the vibe. But these bad jokes are sure to turn that eye roll into laughter.

350. What do you call Pride and Prejudice film with subtitles?

[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

L’Austen translation.
[/learn_more]

351. How do you work out how heavy a red hot chilli pepper is?

Have your audience laughing and headbanging at the same time with this corny joke.
[learn_more caption=”Show Answer” class=”col-m col-m-wide joke”]

Answer

Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.

[/learn_more]

A wall-painted arrow pointing the right.
Unsplash / Nick Fewings

352. Thanks for explaining the word ‘many’ to me…

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Answer

It means a lot.
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353. What do you call a nose without a body?

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Answer

– Nobody knows.
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354. How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

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Answer

With a tuba glue.
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355. Do you know what style of shoes plumbers love the best?

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Answer

Clogs.
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356. Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary?

Toilet humor? Check! So bad that it actually makes people laugh! Double-check!
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Answer

It runs in your jeans.

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Five jeans hanged on a cable to dry.
Unsplash / Ricardo Gomez Angel

357. That awkward moment when you tell a chemistry joke…

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Answer

And you get no reaction.
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358. I never like jokes about retiring.

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Answer

None of them work!
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359. Nobody nose…

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Answer

How bad you smell!
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360. Why didn’t Bach go shopping?

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Answer

Because he was baroque.
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361. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive…

Jokes about finance can only really be told to a certain audience. But when you find them, make sure you tell them this joke.
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Answer

Try missing a couple of payments.
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Mobile being used for payment through a payment terminal.
Unsplash / Jonas Leupe

362. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?

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Answer

Envelope.
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363. I love to study the brain.

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Answer

I hope you don’t mind.
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364. Someone asked who invented the door knocker.

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Answer

It doesn’t ring a bell.
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Downloadable list of Corny Jokes

Here is a downloadable and printable list of corny jokes (right click the image and select Save Image As…):

Downloadabl list of corny jokes
Gamertelligence.com

More Awesome Jokes

Corny jokes are great but you can’t really use them all the time.

  1. When you want to seem like the funniest person in the room, you need to have a certain type of joke up your sleeve. Check out our political jokes for some inspiration.
  2. Want your joke to be funny and smart? Then why not check out our guide to the best science jokes?
  3. Some of the best jokes are just plain nerdy. So why not have a look at our nerd jokes for some hilarious jokes?

How To Pick The Best Corny Joke

Friends adventuring together, laughing at corny jokes.
Unsplash / Felix Rostig

Having a few corny jokes up your sleeve is a great way to break the ice, but how do you pick the best corny joke?

1. Know Your Audience

It’s great having lots of great corny jokes up your sleeve but when you tell a joke to the wrong audience, your comedy act can turn into a tragedy. To make sure that you are picking the right jokes for your audience, think about the kind of things that they like. Do they like clever puns? Do they enjoy wordplay? In other words, the more information you know about your audience, the more likely you are to pick the right joke.

2. Pick Your Setting

An empty justice hall. - corny jokes
Unsplash / Sandra Dempsey

This one goes without saying. When you have picked your jokes, make sure that they are suitable for your surroundings. While this might create some unintentional hilarity, telling a lawyer joke in the middle of a court, might not be the best idea.

3. Have fun!

Three girls sitting on a bench, share and laugh at corny jokes.
Unsplash / Ben White

When you pick your jokes and the setting, just have fun with it. Jokes are made to make people laugh. But what makes a joke even funnier is when the person telling the joke is having a great time. So put on your best entertainers hat and get out there!

In Conclusion

Whether you are meeting new people or meeting up with friends, jokes are a great way to break the ice and start a conversation.

It doesn’t matter which joke you pick, once you have fun telling it. Remember, if you don’t think the joke is funny, then chances are your audience won’t either. Also, performance is key. From overacting for effect to underplaying a corny joke so the punch line really makes an impact, can really help make your jokes even funnier.